Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy - The Set Up
by ThatBrownEyedIrishGirl
Summary: Crack!Fic. Stefan has hatched a plan to have his OTP in one place at the same time. Caroline reluctantly goes with him.
1. Chapter 1

**Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy - The Set Up.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**So, I wrote this a few months back for my cousin, who is in his last year of college and stressed because of exams. **

_**Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy **_** has got to be the funniest thing ever created by the TVD fandom, and we all know, that even from the bottom of the ocean, Stefan is still shipping them.**

**After all, nobody knows you're crying about your OTP in the ocean...**

* * *

In the time Caroline Forbes had known Stefan Salvatore, she'd come to look at him as one of her very best friends.

She respected him; which was why she couldn't sit back any longer.

"Stefan, I'm worried about you. I think -"

"Sh! They're coming!" Stefan waved her off, gripping the side of the table as he leaned forward, peering towards the bar.

Caroline sat back, folding her arms,"Seriously? Spying on your brother and Bonnie? Little creepy..."

Stefan shushed her again, raising his binoculars in order to observe the pair. Caroline rolled her eyes.

"You don't need those... they are literally twenty feet away."

"They're talking! Sh! OMG, they're so perf!"

"You are such a woman."

"Caroline!"

"Fine, I'll zip it."

Stefan nodded, thankful, and resumed his mission.

Caroline had bailed on the Bamon cruise about a month ago, claiming that they were impossible and the likelihood of Bonnie and Damon ever getting together was decreasing considerably.

Stefan refused to give up on his OTP.

He listened in closely to their conversation.

"Stefan text you?"

"Yup," Bonnie confirmed,"He set us up?"

"This whole 'Bamon' thing is getting out of hand."

"You're telling me!" The witch snorted,"In the middle of class, he'll lean over, whisper 'Bamon', nod and return to his seat."

"Try being woken up at 4 AM to have Stefan sitting on your bed, grinning, and asking why I'm saying your name in my sleep."

Her green eyes flickered in surprise,"Wait, you're dreaming about me?"

Stefan began to poke Caroline's arm, squealing like a little girl,"See! They're so cute! Oh, my God, what's he gonna say?"

"He's gonna deny it."

"You think?"

"I know."

Damon flushed,"Not about you. Another Bonnie."

Bonnie nodded slowly,"Right... My point is, we need to stop Stefan."

"I don't think we can. He's become completely obsessed."

"Well, there has to be a way. I am this close to setting his ass on fire."

Damon rolled his eyes,"I'll handle it. Don't worry."

Before they separated, Damon squeezed Bonnie's arm.

Caroline quirked an eyebrow,"Damon said he'd 'handle' you... what're you gonna do now? Stefan? Stefan!"

Stefan was on the ground, rolling around and crying his eyes out.

"He said he'd take care of it! He's gonna tell me to stop because it's annoying Bonnie! He wants to help her out! Ugh, he loves her so much!"

Caroline rolled her eyes, helping him up.

"Oh, boy. C'mon, let's go get you ice cream."

"Ben and Jerry's please..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy - Beautiful Day**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

Caroline Forbes was standing at her locker, bright and early that Tuesday morning.

After the previous day, Carol Lockwood's memorial assembly and Rebekah's attack, she was fully intending to get back to normal as quickly as possible.

The double doors at the end of the hall burst open, parting the surprised students like the red sea.

Stefan Salvatore strolled passed them, his face like thunder.

Caroline sighed, closing her locker and rolling her eyes; She had gotten the text. Stefan was on a fanboy rampage.

"Stefan -" She tried calling out to him as he walked by her, but he held up a hand.

"Don't talk to me!"

* * *

Stefan was fuming.

He had seen the exchange that made his blood boil the day before, by means of spying.

Kol. Freaking. Mikaelson.

Stefan probably should have been more worried about the fact that the youngest male Original was back in Mystic Falls, or that he had kidnapped Shane, but no.

Because what Stefan had seen Kol do was far worse than any of that.

He had eye-sexed Bonnie.

* * *

Caroline couldn't believe that had been the root of Stefan's anger when he finally stopped glaring at a tree and told her.

"Oh, hell no!" Stefan exclaimed, pacing back and forth by the picnic table.

"Kol does _not _come back here and take Damon's job! Where's the white oak stake?"

"Stefan, you're being dramatic."

""Dramatic?! Caroline, this is my OTP we're talking about. Do you know how much time I've invested in this? No? I'll tell you; long enough that I won't allow Kol Mikaelson to screw it up!"

Caroline let go of the breath she'd been holding,"You done?"

"Possibly..."

Stefan's lower lip began to quiver and Caroline stood up, pulling the fragile vampire into a hug.

"Oh, Stef, no. Don't cry."

"Sometimes," He sobbed,"Bamon are j-just so perfect, you know?"

"I know, honey." Caroline pulled back and hesitated before saying,"I was sworn to secrecy, but I feel like you should know."

By this time, Stefan had thrown himself to the ground and was rolling around in tears, biting his knuckle with his knees drawn to his chest.

"They kissed, Stefan!"

Stefan froze, staring up at the sky.

"What?"

"Bonnie told me. They're not together, but -"

"Caroline, I'll be right back."

* * *

When he returned, his expression was stoic.

He bypassed Caroline wordlessly, calmly climbing onto the picnic table and just waiting.

"Stef, what are you -"

The speakers of the nearby football field buzzed the life, drawing everyone's attention and setting a blanket of silence across campus.

"Bamon lovers," Stefan's voice floated through,"The time has finally come for me to announce -"

There was a muffled sob.

"That Bamon is canon, bitches! It's happening!"

Stefan's announcement was quickly followed by an upbeat rendition of 'We Are The Champions', and when Caroline looked back, Stefan was dancing a celebratory dance and crying.

He turned back to her mid dance and beamed.

"This is a beautiful day."

Caroline rolled her eyes, rotating and walking away.

"Hey, future sister-in-law!" She heard Stefan exclaim excitedly, and slowly turned around to see Bonnie's angry green eyes as the pint-sized witch stomped towards her.

Caroline yelped and sped away.

Oh, she was in for it now.

_Damn you, Stefan!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy**

**The Therapy Session**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

Caroline tapped her foot impatiently on the linoleum floor as she flipped through her magazine.

On the ground beside her, Stefan was busy drawing a picture that he refused to let her see.

A few parents of younger, better behaved, children regarded them oddly, and Caroline couldn't blame them.

It wasn't everyday that an eighteen year old babbling idiot was brought into the psychiatric ward of Mystic Falls General.

Finally, the woman known as Dr. Giordano appeared and beckoned Caroline out into the hallway.

"From what you described," She began,"I imagined he was only young."

"That's what the obsession has done," Caroline admitted sadly,"He's reverted to a twelve year old girl."

Dr. Giordano raised an eyebrow,"He believes he's female?"

"No, I'm just mean."

"Very well..." Dr. Giordano entered the waiting room and crouched down beside Stefan,"Hi, Stefan. My name is Kate."

Stefan's concentration never wavered, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth and his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration.

"May we see what you're drawing?"

"No! It's not finished yet!"

Dr. Giordano pulled her hand back as if she'd been burned,"All right. Are you almost finished?"

"I just have to... there! Perfect!"

He set down his crayon, clutching the page excitedly.

"May we see it now?"

"C'mon, Stef." Caroline folded her arms.

She immediately smacked her face in frustration when he turned his cartoon around, showing off the expertly drawn depiction of Bonnie and Damon's kiss.

"See!" The blonde exclaimed,"This is our problem."

"I see. Stefan, why don't you come and have a chat with me?"

Stefan stood up, and handed Caroline his picture, tapping her lightly on the head before skipping down the hallway after his new therapist.

Caroline blew out a breath and sat down. A middle aged brunette beside her nudged her arm, leaning in close and scoffing.

"Kids..."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

It was encroaching on two hours when Stefan finally emerged.

He strode back to her calmly, his arms behind his back and a small, calm smile on his face.

"How did it go?"

"Fine. She wants to talk to you."

Caroline nodded and got up, heading down the way Stefan had come from.

She found Dr. Giordano's office and knocked twice before pushing the door open.

What she saw shocked her.

Little illustrations of various 'Bamon' moments were tacked on the wall, and Dr. Giordano was crying into her coffee.

When she saw Caroline, she sniffled, composing herself.

"Oh, my God, are you okay?"

Dr. Giordano nodded,"There is nothing wrong with Stefan."

"But he -"

"He's right; Bamon is perfect! Excuse me, I have to go curl up in a ball and cry."

Caroline's eyes followed the woman as she stumbled out of the office, and she growled.

"Stefan! Stop turning people into Bamon shippers!"

She stomped back into the hallway, only to jump back as Stefan zoomed passed her on a scooter.

"I regret nothing!"

"Where do you keep getting these things?!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy**

**Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it satisfied the Stefan.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"Where have you been?"

Damon rolled his eyes as he let the front door close behind him, clutching his jacket in one hand. He hoped his eagle-eyed little brother didn't pick up on his tousled hair, and the rumples in his black shirt as he looked up at him. Stefan stood before him, a grin plastered on his face.

"Out."

"That's awfully vague. Why the secrecy, brother?"

"Stefan -"

"It's not like you would have any reason to be secretive, unless there is something I don't know about. Say something to do with... a witch?"

"I know what you're doing, Stefan. You're fishing."

Stefan gasped dramatically, a hand over his heart,"Moi? Fishing? Why would I do that... unless there's fish in the sea."

"Okay, now you're just getting weird. Look, brother, it's too early for this. Why don't you get back to bed and forget this ever happened?"

Stefan folded his arms stubbornly,"Why would I have to forget?"

"Stefan!"

"You're so bossy..." Stefan whined, stomping his foot. Damon pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Duh. I'm your big brother. What will it take for you to leave me alone?"

"Just tell me where you were."

Damon stared at him, hesitating, before he answered slowly,"I was... with... Bonnie."

The last part was said so quietly that Stefan almost missed it. _Almost._

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Stefan lied, trying to stop the ball of excitement in him from exploding,"You were with who?"

"I was with Bonnie, okay? _But_ it's not what you think. Her magic's been acting up and she thought maybe I could help."

"_Right..._"

"I'm serious, Stefan." Damon pursed his lips and then rolled his eyes,"We were going to go to Whitmore today to see if any of the books her Grams left there had anything of value. To prove to you that there isn't anything going on between Bonnie and I, you're coming with us."

Stefan stopped breathing,"You want me to come on a Bamon Road Trip?"

"Don't call it that." Damon pulled a face,"But yeah. We leave in two hours. Be ready."

* * *

"Now, Stefan..." Caroline began warningly on the phone,"I'm not gonna be with you today, so tell me again, what are the rules?"

Stefan rocked back on forth on his bed,"I can't randomly scream 'Bamon', I have to keep my squeals to myself, I can't stop random people in the street and turn them into Bamon shippers and I can't lock them in a closet."

"And...?"

"That one doesn't matter! I haven't done it for months!"

"_Stefan..._"

Stefan huffed,"I can't photoshop them kissing and post pictures all over town."

"Very good."

"You know, I wouldn't have to photoshop them kissing if someone had actually gotten a picture. I mean, where were all my Bamon spies? "

"I sent them to therapy." Caroline replied easily.

"You did?"

"Yes! Because with them, therapy actually helped."

"They were weak!" Stefan bellowed in a deep voice. He heard the honk of Bonnie's car outside and his voice went to a level higher than Caroline's when _she_ was excited,"She's here! I gotta go!"

"Be good. Try not to come home with a restraining order."

"I'll do my best. Bye, love you!"

"Love you, too... _idiot_."

* * *

The drive to Whitmore hadn't been long at all, and just as they arrived, they decided to hit up a diner for lunch. Stefan had almost collapsed when Damon randomly mentioned that he could hear Bonnie's stomach grumbling and suggested they stop.

He was taking care of her, and Stefan pressed his face against the window to stop the squeal from coming out. They stopped at a red light, and Stefan was sure the kids in the car beside them got one hell of a fright when their car rolled up beside theirs and Stefan's overwhelmed expression was mushed up against the glass. Bonnie glanced into the back and burst out laughing.

"Stefan, what are you doing?"

His reply was incoherent as his breath began fogging up the glass as he took deep breaths. Damon chuckled too.

"Stefan, you're scaring those kids." He shared an amused look with Bonnie and shook his head, nodding towards the diner up ahead,"Stop there."

The car zoomed away and Stefan removed his face from the glass, having calmed himself down,"Oh, I love diners."

Bonnie found a parking space and they climbed out, letting Stefan skip in ahead of them. He took a seat and made a move to swing his legs onto the rest of the seat so Bonnie and Damon would be forced to sit together. That's what he did most of the time, but his legs hadn't even lifted from the floor before Damon had slid in beside Bonnie, his arm haphazardly thrown across the back of the seat. Stefan picked up his menu and hit his face behind it, remembering Caroline's rules.

Biting his knuckle, he silently screamed. Composing himself, he slowly rose so he could peek over it. Bonnie's body had curled in towards Damon and his arm had moved off the back of the seat to rest on her shoulder. They were almost... cuddling.

Stefan shot out of his seat,"I'll be back. Just order me a sundae... and make sure they give me a silly straw. The one with the monkey!"

Stefan hurried off towards the back and into the men's room. He whipped out his phone and called Caroline.

"Hey, Stefan, how's the -"

"Oh, my God, Caroline, I have so many feelings right now."

"What? Why?"

"Well, first, they were bickering about who gets to pick the music, and that was fairly normal, but then Bonnie mentioned that there was a song playing that was in a movie with that Stiles guy from Teen Wolf and she really liked it and him, and then Damon said Stiles wasn't cute and she accused him of being jealous but she was teasing and he didn't deny it." Stefan took a deep breath,"And now we're at a diner because Bonnie was hungry and Damon made her stop and his arm is around her and she looks like it's completely normal to her, and he's taking care of her and we've only been on this trip for an hour. Caroline, I have lost all ability to can!"

"Okay, take a deep breath -"

"I can't. I think I'm hyperventilating. That doesn't even make sense, I'm a vampire. I don't need to breathe, so how could I possibly hyperventilate. That's the magic of Bamon, man. Weird things happen." He looked up at the two men standing at the sinks and frowned at the weird looks he got from them.

Stefan let his face morph into his vampire side and growled at them. The two men quickly fled from the bathroom to the sound of Stefan yelling after them.

"You would understand if you had an OTP!"

"_Please _tell me you didn't just vamp out on some innocent guys."

"_They didn't understand..._"

He heard Caroline sigh on the other line,"Okay. I have fought your obsession for so long, but there comes a time where I have to give in and help you out."

"Is now that time?" Stefan asked excitedly.

"I'm afraid so."

"Yay!"

"Look, act like nothing is different. Bonnie and Damon think the therapy worked a little bit, and are allowing themselves to relax without the worry that you'll look into every little glance. So just keep calm and enjoy. You can freak out later."

"Right." Stefan nodded,"I can do that. Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Have fun, Stef."

"Oh, _I will. _Gotta go."

* * *

Back at the booth, Bonnie was trying to figure out what Damon had been thinking.

"Are you nuts?"

Damon frowned,"No, I'm berries."

Bonnie rolled her eyes,"Ha, ha. I meant, are you insane? You know, for bringing Stefan?"

"Oh... probably."

"What if he suspects something? You said it yourself, he caught you coming in late this morning."

"And I convinced him that all we did was research. That's not _exactly _a lie. It's a... half truth. Look, Bon, he's not gonna suspect anything. Why would he?"

"Well, for one thing, your arm is around me."

Damon glanced down at his limb and pursed his lips, retracting it,"Oh, look at that, it was. How does that keep happening?"

"No idea. If we're gonna get away with this, we have to go over a few things."

"I'm listening..."

"No touching."

"Boo!"

"_Unless_ we're alone."

"That's better."

"No checking each other out."

"Ooh, I know that's gonna be hard for you."

Bonnie laughed and slugged his arm,"Shut up, and absolutely no kissing."

Damon pouted,"But I wanna!"

"Well, you can't. Not in front of the Stefan."

"Well, Stefan's not here right now." Damon smirked, leaning in and capturing her lips. Bonnie smiled against him, running her hands through his hair. They broke apart and she smiled again softly. Damon smiled back and then scooted away from her a bit.

"So, what milkshake do you want? I'm thinking chocolate."

"Well, you're wrong. Vanilla is clearly the best."

"Oh, I'm dating a girl with horrible taste." Damon groaned teasingly. Bonnie slapped his thigh, giving him a look.

"_Clearly_. I'm dating _you_."

"Ouch. Witchy, that _almost _hurt."

Bonnie was about to retort and then she saw Stefan walking over to them. She nudged Damon's leg under the table and subtly nodded towards him.

"Hey, Stef." She smiled gently,"You okay?"

"Fine. So, what are we talking about?"

* * *

Hours of research later, Stefan was getting sleepy. He rubbed at his eyes, sitting cross legged on the floor of Sheila's old office. Books were strewn about the place, waiting to be put back, and the college campus was almost deserted. Damon and Bonnie had gone to unload the books they were taking home into the car and, looking at his watch, he realized they had been gone for almost a half hour.

Curiosity got the better of him after a while. He stood up, and set the book he had been reading and getting nowhere with down, heading out of the office and down towards the exit.

He exited the building, smiling at a group of college girls that gave him flirtatious grins as they passed and looked over their heads towards where they had parked. A strangled gasp left his lips when he spotted them and he dived over the edge of the steps, landing in the bushes.

"Oh, my God, are you okay?!" One girl asked, rushing over and staring over the edge of the railing.

"I am perfect." He cried,"Any of you have binoculars?"

"Why would we have binoculars?" A redhead asked, eyes narrowed.

"Why _wouldn't_ you have binoculars?" Stefan scoffed,"Amateurs. Luckily for me, I keep a pair on me."

He reached into his back pocket and pulling the mini binoculars out, training them on his brother and the witch.

Bonnie was sat on the trunk of the car, laughing as Damon paced before her, moving his hands about animatedly as he told her a story.

When Damon stopped in front of Bonnie and gave her a smile so loving that Stefan had never seen on his brother before, Stefan tuned into their conversation.

"I love you." Damon said suddenly, and Bonnie's laughing expression changed into one of surprise, and then she smiled shyly. She reached out and grabbed the front of Damon's shirt, pulling him to her and wounding her arms around his neck.

"I love you, too."

As he heard Damon let out a happy chuckle and then heard Bonnie giggle before Damon pulled her in for a kiss, Stefan flopped face first into the grass, sobbing and waving his arms about in the air, making a string of sounds that resembled excited squealing and seal-like noises.

"Uh, excuse me?" One of the girls called,"Is there somebody we could call? An ambulance, or... maybe a psychiatrist?"

"Been there, done that, didn't work. But it doesn't matter." Stefan jumped to his feet, grabbing the redhead by the shoulders and grinning,"Don't you see? Life is beautiful! I feel so alive! My OTP are canon!"

He rushed back into the college, skipping down the hallway and planting kisses on the cheeks of anyone he passed.

"Bonnie and Damon sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes marriage, third comes Bamon shippers in the Winner's carriage!"

Stefan continued skipping in circles as he answered his ringing phone.

"Stefan, what time are you -"

"IT'S HAPPENING, CAROLINE!"

"Okay, didn't need the yelling. What's happening?"

"Bonnie and Damon! I told you! Everyone thought I was nuts, but no, I called it! They're in love with each other, and I'm in love with life! I swear, you could tell me anything and it wouldn't ruin my mood."

"Haley is pregnant with Klaus's baby."

"Nope! Still happy! Not even worried about what this might mean!"

"Stefan... what are you gonna do now?"

"Oh, don't you worry, my lovely blonde friend... I have big plans."

Stefan's evil cackling could be heard all the way back in Mystic Falls.

* * *

It was a few days after the trip that Bonnie and Damon were walking into the Salvatore house.

They had no idea that they had been found out, due to a complete lack of hints from Stefan. If anything, he had been back to his pre-Bamon obsession days, and it was refreshing to have their old Stefan back. They had no reason to believe that the text he had sent about a group meeting at the house was leading them into a trap.

Damon frowned as he stepped in beside Bonnie. The entire house was dark.

"What the..." He reached up to flip on the lights and when he did, hundreds of people popped out from nowhere.

"Surprise!"

Bonnie jumped, her eyes landing on Stefan. He was dressed in a red, satin cloak and had a plastic gold crown on his head. The giant button on his chest read 'Stefan: The Bamon Fanboy' and he was holding two champagne flutes.

He handed them to the couple.

"Brother... what is this?"

"It's your 'congratulations on giving in to what you both have been denying for too long and finally getting together' party."

"That's a thing?" Bonnie raised an eyebrow,"Wait, how did you even know?"

"A spy never tells... oh, wait, I just gave it away. But anyway, congratulations!"

"Congratulations!" The other party-goers echoed. Stefan laughed happily and when everyone fell silent again, his expression turned serious.

"So... when's the wedding?"

* * *

**Hey! I'm back! I never planned on this being a huge story, so I hope nobody was actively waiting all this time for an update.**

**This story is basically my outlet for when I get hit with strong Bamon feels and decide to use Stefan as my therapy. Who doesn't love Stefan?**

**Anyway, this is the last of the 'connected' ones, so any of the updates after this will be completely random but Bamon and Stefan filled. And ... more than likely, Caroline filled too. **

**So, I hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry if it was suckish. Let me know what you think! :)**

**~ Megan.**


End file.
